Who needs to steal looks at BP CEO Tony Hayward’s secret diary? Tony himself has agreed to contribute a few thoughts to this very Web site! – DR.

By Fake Tony Hayward, Guest Contributor

Jolly good job by the people at Planet BP, our magazine. They caught up with a Yank who is in seafood but still appreciates our oil money and says: “There is no reason to hate BP.”

Planet PB also reminds us of the business Louisiana hotels are getting from oil clean-up workers. Isn’t that great! Louisiana needs more oil spills in the Gulf.

I hate people who look on the dark side. Our operating revenue reached almost $240 billion last year. Here’s a chance for the people of Louisiana to share the wealth. Who was this man Huey Long? Never mind the dude in the photograph. I’m the new Huey. Every man a king!